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Musk Announces Plan to Buy MSNBC, Transform It into News Network

Elon Musk has revealed plans to buy MSNBC and transform it into a news network.

Initially dismissed as a wild joke, Musk insists he is serious about overhauling the channel by hiring professional journalists and shifting its focus to delivering authentic news.

“Admittedly I’ve been wrong about Musk before, but this is insane,” said investor John Stanton. “This would be like buying Taco Bell and turning them all into high-end steakhouses. Doing actual journalism or reading actual news would be a complete paradigm shift.”

Despite the naysayers, Musk has received support from several major players in the media industry. “He’s already got Joe Rogan and Michael Knowles fighting over who gets to take Rachel Maddow’s place,” said former MSNBC executive Daniel Montgomery. “Obviously, Knowles has the look. No one is denying that, not even Knowles. What if they really fought over it, though? Rogan would put him out so fast… well, I take that back. Knowles seems kind of squirrely. Man, this is exciting.”

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At publishing time, Musk had graciously announced that Joe Scarborough could stay on staff as the barista for the company coffee bar.

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